Family Business

So today on my walk I am taking the time to write the newest blog. Well, yesterday my Uncle, Aunt and Father hosted an impromptu cookout for the phenom known as Rachel Johnson. One word to describe the event, "special". It was the first time in a long time I can remember my grandmother's children all being under the same roof. It was also one of the few times were multiple grandchildren were present. 5/8 to be exact. The food was amazing! Shoutout to Aunt D for opening up her house to everyone that was there, amazing woman as well. Now I am sure as your reading the rudimentary beginning to this story you are wonder "WHEN IS HE GOING TO GET TO THE GOOD SHIT?". Well, in all honesty, there were no fireworks yesterday. I was on my best behavior. I held conversations with my father as well as can be expected. Yes, there were awkward moments throughout the day. Yes, I made comments about situations and such during dinner table discussion. It was to be expected. The beauty of it all, I had to drive home last time and it gave me time to think. My problem is not forgiving my father, again, I did that years ago, it is letting go of all that disappointment, resentment, wasted time, lies and lost love. If I do not have that inside me, what the hell is going to drive me to better? My first thought on any patenting issue, career issue, educational issue was "I AM NEVER GOING TO END UP LIKE HIM". That statement, those thoughts, those emotions drive me, or as I will start saying, drove me. Letting go is something everyone my brother AJ, my Aunt Net, my hommie Kea, all said yesterday at different times in different ways. It's funny that we sometimes cannot see the forest through the trees at times. Me letting go will be something I am willing to work on. At times I really want to give the guy a shot, then sure enough, like water is wet, he does something, says something totally in his character to turn me off. Oh, here is a fun fact of the night; I actually gave the guy a hug. Surprised? Don't be. I have kissed women who are known whores, so I have done worse things. Case in point of him doing something in his character that pissed me off; so I brought two of my coworkers on the visit. The family is going through the usual introduction and it gets to him. "Hi, I'm Arthur, I'm Ravee's.... *insert overly dramatic pause* I'll let him answer that if he wants to". Bruh, you doing the most. That's just one of the many examples of the night. As the night progresses I slide in and out and around the general conversations of the table. Organized religion and the bible were the main topics. We all know I don't talk 2 topics: religion and politics. They just don't interest me. So after those topics were discussed, the topics of family structures, women's roles, being single and interracial dating topics were brought up. I quickly deaded the interracial dating topic. We all know it's what I prefer, not going to change, accept it and move on. My little cousin is currently in one and I was not going to allow the family to ambush her in the conversation as well so I took it over. She's 20. She is just coming into her own and should not have justify anything to them about her heart's preference. The one topic that I had to shut down as well was the "forgiveness" topic. No. We was not going there last night. Wrong place. Wrong time. My family, everyone in it, including me at times have a bad habit of making everything about them. Yesterday was not about me and him, it was about my baby Rachel. The forgiveness issue with my father is something I cannot go without addressing before the year is over but yesterday was not the time. As I come to a close the memories I took from yesterday were all good ones. Great time seeing my baby KC who is growing up so fast, seeing my baby cousins who aren't so young and innocent anymore, my aunt and uncle who drop silent jewels of inspiration and knowledge to me all last night and surprising the woman of decade Mrs. Rachel Johnson.